Coping With Grief At Christmas

Many people tend to come together with family and friends throughout December to celebrate the festivities. We know this can be a particularly hard time of the year when you're missing someone. Maybe you're bursting into tears when you least expect it, perhaps you feel angry at the people around you, or maybe you’re feeling anxious, worrying about how you’ll feel or how you’ll get through. 

If you have been bereaved and are feeling worried, it can be helpful to think about what your plans are for the weeks ahead and who you’d like to spend time with. You shouldn't feel pressured to have Christmas as usual if it doesn't feel right, although celebrating as you normally would may be a comfort to you. This will be different for each person after a bereavement, so plan for a Christmas you feel comfortable with and give yourself permission to do what you want to do. If you are finding things difficult, you have the right to step away from the usual traditions and rituals until you feel ready to pick them up again. 

For many people, Christmas comes hand in hand with a number of traditions that can be linked to memories of the person you are grieving, this can leave you feeling upset, especially when you aren’t able to do these in the same way. To help you get through this difficult time, consider the traditions and what they mean for you and those around you. Maybe you want to keep to them, but don’t be afraid to change old ones or create new ones. Starting a new tradition may also help the children in your family, particularly if they’re struggling too. It can be difficult for them to know how to act when the people they love are grieving but finding new ways to remember the person you lost during this time can bring you together as a family. 

Tears are an important and, for some, a necessary part of grief. As much as you may fear that you won't stop crying once you start – you will, and you may even feel a little better for doing so. Remember that all emotions, whether they are ones of sadness, joy or any other, take up energy. You might not know how you’ll be feeling from one day to the next, so be kind to yourself and try not to ‘over-do’ things. Don’t feel guilty about the things you think you ‘should’ be doing and know that it’s okay to not be okay. Know that all these feelings are normal, and that you’re not on your own this Christmas.

We would like to take this opportunity to say our thoughts are with you and to wish all of our families, past and present, peace, love and comfort at this time of year.